Thursday, February 26, 2009
~ 11:27 PM ~
whew exams finally over... and today was such a tiring day!! lol, after exams, went off with my classmates to plaza sing, woo hoo, gotta say that there is Manhattan Fish Market there, lol, but then we didnt eat that luh.. zz but we got Burger King instead. which was quite nice also lah, lol, love fast food... they decided to go and watch Pink Panther 2 which i reluctantly agreed, lol, at first i thought the show was damn stupid lah, then i watched the show, and it was damn hilarious!! lol, damn funny sia the show, some sexual humor, although theres nothing much really sexual abt the jokes, lol, just plain funny, should go and watch.
well, i'm searching for Pink Panther on the net, cos i didnt watch the first one. figured its also gonna be damn funny. anyway, after that we went home ba, talked abt some stuff in the MRT, then its home sweet home..
when i reached home did a little spring cleaning, decide to finish with just mopping the floor and changin the sheets, shall continue with the tables, windows, tv, playstations, ect when i come back from M'sia tml.
on to the reason why i'm blogging rite now... i've been thinking recently, and only recently, all the past posts of me thinking is really not thinking at all >.> as in not serious lah... my exams are a mess, i actually need to resit for a module for nxt sem, thats just like forwarding a module, only its slightly better~its not counted as a forward module.. but after this, i've been thinking.. wat exactly is gonna happen to me from now on, i really dont see the vision of me becoming the researcher i had envisioned in my mind during my sec sch days, i start to see more and more of myself as some hawker center guy who will work there for the rest of my life, or working in some fast food outlet forever gettin the measly low pay.. to be honest, i hav thought of just quiting sch and working out there, i suppose i can support myself but if i hav a family nxt time, how am i gonna support them...
i hate to admit it, but i'm just like the stereotype, fat lazy guy who sits all day in front of his com, doin nothing but the occasional goin to the toilet and comin out for food. all thoughts of me doing something in life is all gone.. i wouldnt say that i hav been living in my fantasy world, i havent, but i hav been escaping from reality. i havent put my priorities in order, i've let my laziness overtake me, and i've made more and more excuses in not doin wat i'm supposed to do.
i feel really sad that i hav to forward a module just cos of some stupid reason. cos of that stupid reason, i dont think i will be in the same class as all my friends nxt sem, its like start of yr 1 all over again, unfammiliar environment, no fammiliar faces, and worse of all, its an extra 6 months to my time in sch. i couldnt sleep at all last nite. i thought about so many things, i wanted sms a friend to ask if he was awake to talk to me, but i felt that we werent as close as b4, so i chose not to say anything, i thought about all those times when we were together, either playin games, or just talkin, all those times are gone.
so i just sat there all night, thinking about my future, or at least my very bleak future, and on the other hand, i still had to worry abt micro bio the nxt day. i tried to just close my eyes and shut out all the things that are worrying me, but i just couldnt do it like i used to, it means this time i'm seriously thinking.. the nxt morning's train ride to sch was like torture, i kept tryin to remember wat i've been revising, yet the very same thoughts popped back into my head. i really dunno how i should go on, though i noe i've got no choice but to go on anyway.
nothings the same anymore...Labels: ARRRRGG, Pink Panther
